


I’ll be a million different people for you.

by soulhead



Series: Footage de gueule [8]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 14:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18523105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulhead/pseuds/soulhead
Summary: But I'll never be enough.Or, the only thing Eric ever wanted was to prove how good an alpha he could be for his omega. Too bad his omega doesn't seems to care.





	I’ll be a million different people for you.

**Author's Note:**

> Usually the omega is described as a weak minded individual and I thought it was interesting to imagine a version of this trope where omegas don’t necessarily need protection, but where alphas thrive on giving care and protection.

 

 

Eric comes from a proud line of alphas. His mother before him, his grand-father and all his ancestors were of this gender without exception. They all were born with this innate desire to provide and look after their family and their pack. One after another, each member of his family created blossoming clans and at the very heart of each of them, an omega stood, revered by their bonded alpha.

Knowing his time to fulfill this sacred duty would eventually come, he used to daydream about finding his omega. The one that fitted him so perfectly and to whom he would only wish to contort himself in half to please. He spent days of his childhood pretending his stuffed toys were his own pack to take care of, hoping he would be ready the day he would meet the omega that would be none other than his.

To everyone's surprise, unlike most of his counterparts, he chose to pursue a career that was a far cry from the typical path an alpha normally took. Usually, his kin would become doctors, nurses, teachers or any job that allowed them to capitalize on their natural need to protect and guide their community. Eric chose instead to become a professional footballer. In his own way, he could take of people by entertaining them, allowing them a small respite from the chaos of their life.

In the corner of his mind, he also thought that this career would let him meet more people from around the globe, which meant that he would accentuate his chances to meet his omega. He was nothing but a far-sighted man after all.

Yet, as all things in life do, he was taken by surprise when he met his omega as early as at the young age of 21 years old. Usually, finding his own omega or his own alpha happens only into the second quarter of one's life.

Even more surprising, it's his omega that found him. He appeared in his life without any warning, proud and boisterous. He was a young fellow footballer, a transfer from Milton Keyes. To this day, when everything has already derailed from its planned course, Eric has a habit of recalling the absolute certainty he felt when he greeted him. It calms him, to know that a few years ago, there was a moment in his life where everything in his mind was clear and as simple as the thought that crossed his mind then : “ _This is him. This is my omega and I'm his alpha, my life starts now._ ”

He thought he was ready for this challenge, for his life as an alpha, as Dele's alpha. That he, Eric, could be what his omega needed.

After all, how could he think he wasn't fit for this ? His parents used to marvel at how good of an alpha he was from an early age. Always attuned to the needs of his sisters and brothers, he was constantly yearning to be useful. As he grew up, he made sure that every social interactions he had was centered around this idea, that despite his young age, he could be a mentor, a friend to rely on, a confident. He was everything and anything people needed him to be.

Why then ?

Why ?

Why couldn't he provide adequately for the only person he was designed to take care of, his omega ?

Naively, he thought he could adapt to the needs of this peculiar omega. Yet, he thinks self-deprecatingly, that what he is doing right now is a definite proof of how much of a failure he turned out to be.

A failure, there's no other word for it.

“ _Satisfy him ! Please him ! Provide for him ! Do something !”_ implores restlessly the alpha that resides inside him.

His omega is too proud, to self-assured, _too good_ to need someone like Eric at his side as anything else than a best-friend.

This finding isn't new, yet he stubbornly has dedicated himself to his mission as an alpha for almost four years now. He's grown accustomed to his alpha's pleas and sadly, time shaped him into an expert in deceiving his alpha, _in deceiving himself_.

If this was his last day on earth, if he had to review the short life he spent there, the conclusion would be simple : being bonded with Dele was a challenge too big for him. He's been aware of this for a very long time, he maybe even had his first suspicions a few months into the strange relationship that united them.

Yet, he has managed so far to delay the moment this inevitable conclusion would be reached by the alpha in him. This part of him, as primal and passionate as it is, would never be able to cope with this realization and it would inevitably destroy them both. Unfortunately, he's running out of options to delay the inevitable and as desperation grows, his self-preservation instincts and rationality vanish.

It leads him to the present time, where he's now accustomed to guard Dele's room by his door in the hotel they stay together for away-games. It's a painful ritual for him, the only way to calm down his alpha that still works efficiently. He's not stupid, he knows nothing can happen to Dele when he's sleeping in the security of the high-end hotel they are staying in, but he can't help it. He reassures his alpha by telling him it's his duty to stand here, in this impersonal hall, where the lights almost blind him by their whiteness and where the buzzing sound they emit is the only sound surrounding him. As he make sure the way he stands burn the muscles in his legs and tire him even more than he already is, he murmurs to himself : “ _See alpha, feel this bone-crushing tiredness, may it serves as punishment for not measuring up to my role_ ”.

This daily stratagem calms his mind partially, but only offers him a small respite. He knows he truly needs so much more: he needs to protect his omega, he needs to make sure he's well taken-care of, he needs, needs, needs to complete an infinite lists of actions to truly be worthy of his alpha title.

He wants to enter the room and make sure the air-conditioning is at the right temperature, want to check if Dele has a filled glass of water next to him and a small snack on the night dresser.

Are Dele's pillows firm enough ? What about his mattress ? What if Dele's room is on the noisy part of their hotel and he can't fully rest for tomorrow ? What if tommor...

“Eric ? Eric !” a distant voice cuts his stream of panicked thoughts. He vaguely recognizes Hugo's timber of voice, yet his own sight is unfocused and he has trouble identifying with clarity the features of his caring captain.

“Y..Yes Hugo ? What are you doing here ?” he answers to the figure in front of him, voice rough from misuse.

“What am I doing here ? What are YOU doi...” he sighs ”Eric, you told me you wouldn't do it tonight ! How long have you been guarding Dele's room ? We have a match tomorrow, you need to rest !”

“I know, I just...I won't guard him for the whole night, I just need to make sure he's sleeping well !”

“Are you kidding me ? It's already 3AM now ! We all went into our rooms at 10PM ! You look seconds away from collapsing, you're literally shaking ! “ with those words, Hugo's eyes flashed crimson, a clear challenge apparent in his unforgiving glare, daring him to talk back to him.

At this sight, Eric lower his head in defeat instantly. Here he is, an alpha so weak, so bad at fulfilling his duty that he submits himself without a fight to one of the most lenient Alpha he's ever met.

He's pathetic.

This is the first and last thought that occurs to him as he his led back to his room by an angry Hugo and unceremoniously thrown into his bed. Sleep welcomes him before he even has time to register his face was rested on a pillow.

There, in the safety of his room, he can imagine a world where he fulfills every requests of his omega. He dreams of world where respecting Dele's wishes and acting as bonded mate aren't mutually exclusive and the alpha in him purrs at the divine perfection of this fantasy.

***

If he was honest with himself and allowed himself a trip down memory lane, this omega was always set to challenge him, to demand him to wander far away from his comfort zone.

He remembers how from the very beginning he frantically tried to attune himself to his omega's mindset. How he tried to understand, to predict any possible needs of Dele. Awkward and eager as he was to please his omega, this desire first translated itself concretely in a very embarrassing way.

He still cringes at the remembrance : they were lining up to start after half-time against one of their main rival. It was Dele's first match with the club. With time, he had forgotten which specific club they were facing this one evening, but he still remember how impressive the clamor of the public was. Sensing the nervousness coming from his Dele and maybe himself, Eric's hand connected to Dele's without any second thoughts. He remembers the sight of his omega, biting his lips and eyes shifting rapidly before his first match.” _You'll do great, this is the beginning of something great for you, for us as a team, for our club_ ” is what he wanted to convey in this gesture when his own throat couldn't form those very words.

“You got a problem Dier ?”

“Hum, no... You just seemed stressed ?” he hastily responded, clearly not expecting the discontented expression deforming Dele's face.

“And ?” Dele looked at him incredulously “Man, what a shame that Danny and Harry aren't there, I'm sure they would have loved to hold hands with you, us poor omega wouldn't know what to do with ourselves without you supervising, right ?” answered Dele in a patronizing tone.

As if burned by the embarrassment, Eric dropped his hand while cursing his inability to express himself adequately.

The game starts moment after their interaction and despite relentlessly trying to make eye contact with his omega, he remained alone in his confusion.

Being worthy of this omega will be a challenge.

It's alright, he likes being tested, he remember thinking. He'll adapt to his omega needs, he'll find the ways Dele needs his reassurance and his presence. He’ll prove himself to be so good at being Dele’s !

For the time being though, he has to understand what this omega asks of him. They've just known each other for a few months and if Eric is patient enough, he's sure of it, his omega will soon open up to him.

***

His prediction was right, time is his greatest ally if he wants to be able to provide adequately for his omega.

Despite their rocky start, they reached a fast understanding of each other that allow them to quickly call each others best friends. Every day, Eric understands a little bit more why Dele is his omega. Their differences are only in surface, in the opposite way they carry themselves to the world. Whenever they truly connect to each other during their discussions, every time they embrace themselves, it occurs to Eric that the expression ”two sides of the same coin” defines them perfectly.

They barely finished their first season together in the club when, like everything with his omega, he's taken by surprise as the next step in their relationship isn't initiated by himself, but by Dele. His careful calculations, his steady approach to solidify ever so slowly but securely their bond is thrown out the window when his omega ask of him one single simple thing.

It’s a vision engraved into his pupils, the sight of Dele coming to him when he’s on his way to his car, playing with the hem of his training shirt, cheeks flushed and forehead strangely sweaty for the light training session they had. He remembers his beautiful Dele, vulnerable and trusting like he rarely ever was in their early days, asking him if it wouldn’t annoy him too greatly to take care of him during his incoming heat.

He still hear the “Yes sure, of course, anything you want !” he spluttered too quickly and awkwardly, as if he could have even refused Dele's request, as if taking care of his own omega during his heat could be anything close to an inconvenience.

Once they fall into Eric’s bed that day, all that he could do was to marvel at how silent Dele had instantly turned. He, who usually could talk anyone ear's off, seemed to be reduced to an endless stream of exquisite high pitched whines, as he so graciously accepted all that Eric could gives to appease his omega’s urgent needs.

Every part of Eric’s being wanted this moment to last forever, he never wanted his hands to brush anything else than the soft patch of skin under Dele's belly button. He wished to be haunted until his last day on earth of the sight of his omega's furrowed brown, as if he was concentrated sorely on the caresses Eric was giving him dutifully.

Even now, years after this very first time, he still can recall how his omega felt incredibly brittle, resting his head on his chest and embracing him as Eric restlessly focused on moving his hips in a way that would be optimal for his omega's pleasure.

Everything of Dele, of what they were doing felt like a masterpiece.

As they laid down on his bed, resting against one another Eric unfortunately also remembers with precision the scene that followed, when he felt his omega chest rising fast, as if laughing:

“What is so funny?” he had asked.

“No. it's just that….I was just thinking about what we were doing 2 hours ago.”

“We just had sex and what you're thinking about is trying to escape being punched in the face by Harry after nutmegging him one too many times ?”

“Yeah” Dele chuckled “and now look at us both ! We’re spending my heat together! None of this wining and dining and romcom shit, we go straight to the point! “ Dele said throwing his fist into the air in mock-triumph.

At this instant, his beautiful omega, so carefree and so bright with the after-glow of their intimate act, made him understand that maybe meeting his own omega when they were both still so young wasn't as brilliant as he thought it was.

The following morning, Dele still deeply loved up in his arm, Eric has no other choice but to swallow back the bitterness festering in his mind.

After all, this is not his omega's fault that he is still so young and clearly not ready for the intensity that Eric yearns in their relationship. To acknowledge their bond is a great responsibility, it's the founding act and the promise of a future pack. His omega might not voice it, but Eric senses that it's too early yet.

It's alright, there's no hurry, he'll wait.

***

He confines his alpha's overbearing tendencies deep inside him. He grits his teeth and pretends being relegated to nothing more but a helpful friend doesn't burn, doesn't make his alpha cower in disarray.

When his omega's next heats come, he pretends he doesn't see how his own ruts slowly begun to synch with Dele's cycle. He feigns tiredness until Dele decide to leave his house, satiated and beaming, never noticing the strange flush of Eric’s skin, never taking time to understand and wonder about his partner's needs.

If they used to dance to the same song with just a slight difference of tone before, it now seems like only Dele is hearing the music. All Eric can listen to is his own pained gasp as his ruts torture him for days on end, contorting and punishing his body for letting his omega go away. If an omega heat only last one or two days, alphas ruts last three to four days at the bare minimum and Eric always spends most of it in a haze of pain.

Yet, for some time, he's so starstruck by this God-given omega that he welcomes anything that Dele deigns giving him. If his omega needs him to be nothing but a best friend with whom he spends his heat with, he'll endure the pain and the shame. He'll keep his mouth shut and he'll never force anything on Dele. He'll wait until his omega is ready to accept the true nature of their bond. After all, it's not his place to impose anything on him.

Besides, he could endure anything.

Because Dele is happy and he is blossoming in his new club and he can't allow himself to be selfish and to tarnish his omega's oblivious well-being. Betas wouldn't understand, they would be alarmed at his lack of self-preservation instincts. They would warn him about the ramifications depriving himself of his omega during his rut will inevitably have on his body.

He's alright though. He's used to the pain of his solitary ruts now, after one year, he can deal with it. His body won't fail him, _won't fail Dele_. Betas wouldn't comprehend how it feels to deal constantly with knowing that to provide for his omega is part of his biological make-up, how it's the very reason he was made as he is. He can't ignore it. _He can't and he won't_.

***

The first teammates to confront him openly about his ordeal are Hugo and Toby.

It happened just before the resumption of their training schedule to prepare for the season 2017-2018. Eric had invited the whole squad for a barbecue and spent the entire morning frantically organizing his backyard and wondering what crossed his mind to devote himself for this.

Now, he's busy working the grill and making sure the next batch of steaks are cooked rare when he feels a presence coming up to him. It's Hugo and Toby, watching him intently:

“Does he knows ?” asked Toby, a not-so discreet smirk on his face.

“What ?”

“Dele, does he knows you're a bonded pair ?”

“Uh..I...What are you talking about ?” he scratches the back of his head, while looking intently at the steaks, pretending to be concentrated on them.

“Oh please, you've been watching him take every bites of the food you've served him. If I was a bit honest, I would tell you that you invited us all just so you could feed Dele without him noticing and complaining about it.”

“Me ?” Eric chuckles ”No I wouldn't do that !”

“Sure, now don't take it the wrong way, but I'm pretty sure the steak you're grilling are closer to getting burned than cooked rare !” intervened Hugo, who had now approached the grill and who eyed the burned steak on the grill suspiciously.

“Oh shit” he mutters, as he realize that indeed, they already took a worrying dark coloration.

“Alright, I'll guess we won't disturb you any longer from your...ah...observations ? We wouldn't want you to miss Dele taking a new bite of his food !”

He pretends to be offended as Lloris and Alderweireld walk away, but he realizes that indeed, the alpha that slumbers into him purrs at the sight of his beautiful omega eating and laughing, not a care in the world.

What he sees in front of him isn't just his omega eating a meal he provided him, but it's his garden filled with friends and Dele and he feels like this sight could be the first pillar of the house they could build together, of the pack they could start to form.

***

It's a dangerous game he's playing at, he knows, to pretend everything is perfectly fine.

No matter what he tries, it seems like Dele's never going to stop being this proud, independent and elusive omega. After all, if he stopped to be maybe Eric wouldn't even recognize him anymore.

He has to resort to get closer to the omegas around him to appease his alpha, who only ever want to provide for Dele in ways he can't and that his omega won't allow him to. He makes an habit to always bring additional gloves for Harry to training sessions during the winter because he knows he always forget them. He buys a croissant for Sonny every morning and makes sure to watch whatever tv show Danny currently raves about just so he can share his passion with Eric. They all indulge him and a part of him suggest him they know. They must sense somehow, that in each gesture he's begging them to show appreciation and validation of the care he gives them as an alpha. They are gracious enough to not talk about it. They act around him like he's a perfectly balanced alpha. Whenever they address him a thankful look for all his small attentions, he pretends to see a crooked smile and that, as he touches their forearm, amber skin is under his hands.

It's a dangerous game he's playing at, but he has learned his way around the rules.

***

Despite the loneliness of it all, there's plenty of moments where everything between them is just as it should be, almost perfect.

Every time Dele reaches out to him in the middle of a goal celebration, specifically inviting him into his arms to celebrate this achievement, he has an inkling he must have done at least something right to deserve his undivided attention.

He still feel the way his alpha is instantly grounded when they train and joke together, when his omega confides in him about his past and his fear for the future in the darkness of his room, the urgent-ness of the heat long gone. Sometime, he even forgets their bond isn't recognized as mutual when he spends hours cuddled next to his omega, pampering him with kisses and watching him squirms against his chest, trying to avoid those while laughing, post-coitus still evident on his face.

Those moment feel like an awoken dream. His omega close to him, happy and secure.

But then, a small part of him has to break the utter perfection of their time together to remind him that those moments are all he's ever gonna be able to enjoy. Systematically, his omega quickly retreat into behaving like they are nothing more than intimately close best-friends and soon enough, he'll look at him annoyed, vexed whenever Eric will try to care for him.

It burns him to feel so close to all he was made for, yet to see Dele escapes from him, leaving him alone, unworthy and uncompleted.

As much as he tries to ignore it, the reminders that his omega doesn't acknowledge their bond are endless.

They are in everything that Dele does, they way he greats him, the discussions they have and even in the looks Dele give him during his heats. They always come back to taunt him at the worst of time: driven half-delirious by the intoxicating smell of his omega and the first symptoms of his own rut, he loses himself for a moment in the thousands of details he discovers and rediscovers about Dele. Then, without fail, the next morning he wakes alone in a bed as cold as the way his blood feel. Gone is the impression his omega's touch could lit him alive, gone is the ecstasy of their night together. All that is left is the reminiscence of Dele's stares tracing every part of himself as if daring him, as if telling him “ _You better present me all of you right now, because I want to take everything and you better expect nothing in return_ ”.

Maybe it's just his insecurities twisting up reality, but all of this reminds him of the inelegant truth : the arrangements they share during Dele's heats is nothing but practical, their moments of affections treated like nothing but as moment of inattention. Everything they do scream “We're best-friend, nothing less and certainly _nothing more_.” and his brain is starting to feel numb with it.

***

Some of those reminders hurts more than others, like the one he painfully experiences right now.

It's nearly the 10th of November, they just won against Crystal Palace and they don't have a match for the next two weeks. Kane invited them all to the nearest club to celebrate their win and what feels like an early Christmas to all of them. Important games are coming before the end of the last month of 2018. Barcelona, Arsenal, Chelsea are only the few names they'll have to face. This small moment of respite, of insouciance is welcomed by everybody on the team. Helped by the subdued atmosphere and the ambient deep house music, everybody seems to relax as the evening goes by.

He's busy listening intently to Harry Winks retelling the amazing game of beer-pong that he (supposedly) won a few moments ago when he spots them across the room, near the bar.

_Them_.

A well-built alpha he doesn't recognize, probably one of the other clients of the club, talking to Dele. There's nothing particular about the scene, just two people trying to communicate over the music blasting through the club. Yet, he sees the closeness they share, the way his omega let his private space be invaded by this alpha. From the distance he can't see distinctively his omega's expression, but Eric dreads that if he could, he would see his infamous crooked smile, almost a smirk really, adorning his omega's face.

His alpha screams at him, seems to try to tear down the mental wall he's put around him, he begs him to let him express himself, to show Dele how well he could provide for him, how no other alpha can possibly be worthy of him when they're a bonded pair.

_Ah_ , there lies the problem.

If one of them doesn’t recognize that they are bonded, they're not really a bonded pair at all, aren't they ?

He's only ever been _an_ alpha to Dele. Not _his alpha_ , just _one of the many_ Dele will meet in his life. He'll probably never be anything more than a nice and convenient way to relieve Dele of the pressure of his heats, nothing than a best friend who indulges him in carnal pleasure when his body instincts overtake him.

All of this, the constant second guessing of his actions, all those years passed refraining himself from expressing his alpha, all of those years spent waiting, waiting, waiting for the moment Dele would be ready to accept their bond...

All of those ruts spent in loneliness, all of this….. _For this_ _?_

For his omega to behave like he's nothing ?

He's overacting, he knows, but as he feels himself coming apart at the seams, meters away from his uncaring omega, Eric feel like it's true, _he's nothing_.

***

After that, the reigns he had over his own alpha seems to escape him. He can't appease this part of him anymore. He needs, needs, needs all and everything that his omega can gives him, yet so fierce and so proud as he is, Dele deprives him of all that he yearns for.

Sleep starts to elude him, the alpha in him telling him to do something, _anything_ to take up his role as an alpha. He can't even take refuge in the reveries of their nights together, those have turned into a sour dream for too long.

His health starts deteriorating slowly too.

First it's the appendicitis, then it's muscular injuries one after another. His hamstring, his hips : it feels like his whole body is rebelling against him.

***

His alpha tugs and tugs at the leashes Eric bounded him in.

And when it finally manages to break free, it takes him off guard.

From an exterior point of view, nothing triggered it. The sequence of events before he lose control of himself is simple : he's being massaged by one of the physiotherapist as he watches from afar Dele participating in a game of UNO with a couple of teammates during one of their daily breaks. Then, when he realizes he's losing, like the sore loser Kyle always is, he playfully hits Dele in mock-angriness.

But Eric won't recalls that.

All he will remember, all his alpha will see is his omega potentially being hurt by a beta.

Red is sinking in his vision as he starts running toward Dele with a energy he thought he couldn't conjure anymore.

He feels himself tackling to the ground the threat to his omega and applying pressure on something with only one intent : to hurt, to maim, to scare, to punish the one who had the audacity to hit his omega.

Behind him are distant echoes of people screaming, hands are on his backs, on his chest, everywhere.

“ERIC PLEASE ! STOP YOU'RE SCARING ME !”

And with that, crimson vanishes from his eyes, leaving nothing but the blurry sight of terrified faces around him. Gradually, he starts to notice his hands on Kyle's neck. He instantly lets go, shocked by his own acts and watches as Kyle scramble to his feet and run away, followed by a myriad of other teammates equally scared of him.

The only presence still near him is the one of his his omega, eyes filled with incomprehension and mistrust.

“I...I... I don't know what happened...I thought Kyle was hurting you....” as he says those words, Eric naturally tries to come closer to his omega, to reassure him that all of this is over. As he does, his omega flinches and lets Eric's hand reach to nothingness. He recoils like he's afraid of him, the shadow in his eyes make it seems like Eric is a stranger. Eric feels himself once again losing the battle to his alpha.

“No, no omega please. I only ever wanted to protect you please, I didn't mean to scare you, please, you have to believe me !”

His pleas seems to work as his omega tentatively get closer to him. He feels Dele's warmth, who is still trembling, cautious of his physical presence like he's ready to jump away at any suspicious gesture Eric could do.

Yet, despite the obvious unease his omega feel, he listened to his supplications and deigned embracing him.

_God, there's no doubts that his omega is the greatest thing that could have happened to him._

As his omega bravely attempts to calm him, putting aside his own grief, shame overcomes him. What is so fundamentally wrong in him that his own omega has to resort to comfort him ? It's not his role, not for what he was designed. Dele, more than any omega, was put on this earth to never experience a moment of need, of unfulfilled desire under Eric's care.

And so, battered by years of anguish, of shame for not being up to the mission he was given as the alpha to his omega, Eric let the darkness consumes him and let his grip on consciousness escapes him.

***

When he comes back to his senses, it’s to be disturbed by a set of angry sounding voices coming from his right side.

He’s lying in one of the uncomfortable leather sofa of the training facility lobby. His omega, so good and attentive, offers him water and he drinks slowly from it, hoping it will dissipate the dizziness that seizes his brain.

He notices that Hugo is there too, worried eyes scrutinizing every parts of his body and his lips moves as if he is talking to Dele, but Eric can’t seem to focus on his words, the sound of blood that rushes too fast in his veins is distracting him. His breakdown from earlier, coupled with his countless health issues must have definitely alerted everybody in the team. Doctor Mughal must know, Pochettino too and everybody else in the club. Maybe even everybody on the internet soon, once this incident will be inevitably reported in rags.

“Dele, do what we talked about.” said Hugo, as his uncharacteristic authoritative voice managed to break through the noise in Eric's head.

A silent exchange seems to happen between Hugo and Dele, but all Eric can see is the tensed traits of his omega, his red eyes and…It’s too much for him, for his alpha. He failed, he keeps failing and he just want to be what his omega needs him to be, why can’t he ever succeed ?

“Eric, I'm cold.” said his omega, still looking at Hugo's face, like he is silently asking for directions.

Still dizzy from his sleep, Eric's alpha urges him to quickly take his sweatshirt off and give him to Dele, putting it on his shoulder and he executes himself urgently.

“That's good, Eri...My alpha. I feel warm now. Thank you.”

For the following hours, his omega ask of him so many things : to go search for his meal at the cafeteria or to retrieve him his bag and a list of endless peculiar requests. Eric follows his directions like a lost traveler in desert. It’s so uncharacteristic of Dele, but Eric’s regales himself by fulfilling all of his needs, never minding the deep aches his every moves cause in his body and the way his eyesight sometime spins at an alarming rate.

My alpha.

_My alpha._

_Dele called him his alpha !_

It’s well into the evening, when they both returned to Eric’s home and he’s pretending to pay attention to the movie Dele’s demanded him to watch together, when it dawns upon him.

There, being cradled by his omega, following the directions Dele finally accepted to give him, could almost feel like the day his reckoning has come.

_My alpha._

_My alpha !_

Yet, he spent too many months hoping, praying, imploring for this moment to happen and to be disappointed time after time to know it's only wishful thinking from his half-crazed alpha. Dele’s probably only following the orders Hugo gave him to help him. He called him “my alpha” to appease him, but there's no real intent behind it, he's sure of it.

But if Eric learned something since he met his omega, it’s that ignorance is bliss. He's too tired, to diminished physically and mentally to remind himself that all those positive feelings he’s experiencing right now are only good to trick his alpha and that none of them are real.

He’s not strong enough for that anymore. He just want to concentrate on the feel of his omega close to his side, warm and present, to rest and for the streams of self-doubts in his mind to stop, even for one second.

A simple second of feeling worthy of his omega, it's all he asks for.

Just one.

_Please._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading !
> 
> Gentle giant!Eric is the only Eric that is valid.
> 
> Accidentally wrote the longest fanfic i've ever written yet and it's about deledier, my bad. I wrote this for the last 10 days while I was sick (yet still going to work everyday, fuck my stupid self) so I hope it won't show too much lol.
> 
> Also, first fic where I wrote a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny scene about two characters have sex, hope it wasn't awkward ^^'.


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